Friday, March 1, 2013

GOOD PARENT, an oxymoron?



Everybody knows how to raise a child, except the people who have them.
                                                                                                P.J. O’Rourke.

The above saying holds true, and the evidence is us – “The Parents”. It is true only because we know preaching is easier than following. Perhaps, it takes courage to raise children or maybe not. Parenting is fun when parents become children and grow simultaneously together. A little difficult task, but not an impossible one as everything depends on upbringing.

Parenting, traces its birth from marriage. Concerning on each other’s needs, developing a sense of acceptance, patience quotient, and all these qualities leads to a strong foundation to parenting. Woman sees her first child in her husband. When the actual parenting starts she sees no difference except the height and weight. Parenting is seen as a duty, and people tend to sacrifice many things which are actually not required. For example, the “Husband-Wife” factor disappears at the cost of parenting.

The stages of life have been defined and categorized into four stages. Infancy, Childhood, Adolescence and Adulthood. Parenting is needed in all these stages where everyone wants to be a perfect and an ideal parent, but unfortunately no one achieves that in the entire life time. Learning is a continuous process and mastering the same would require some effort. Here are few things that can take parenting to a better level.

Childhood is the building block upon which the later stages will be built. Hence stop uttering NO to your kid, because that creates bitterness and at the same time an eagerness to know about. Let them explore each and everything by themselves, make them realize what is important and what is not or the priorities; once this is mastered then everything else falls in place. Educate your children about self-control, to live with pride, respect ideals which takes their lives to greatest heights.

Adolescence stage, a bit difficult stage in upbringing; where they become independent. Here one has to be a strong parent besides being a friend. At the same time step aside and just be a simple listener, a good friend to confide, share your views but do not force your opinions. Nowadays kids outsmart the parents and they just need someone to be with and not on them. This goes vice-versa as well, when children are grown enough to educate others, they start to teach their parents; which most of the parents cannot accept, because parents have their own ideology and they refuse to change. As this goes either ways, both children and parent should draw a demarcation between the relations to keep them alive forever and respect each other’s ethics.

There should be a feel-good factor at home, when a situation goes haywire with the parents, it is advisable to control in a peaceful manner rather being violent or egoistic. This is how you model your children a valuable lesson in patience, understanding and solving a conflict. Ultimately, the psychology matters; how well the situation ended, positive approach leaves a satisfaction whereas the negative one goes with a scar.

Give your child a walker when trying to walk, give them feathers when they want to fly, but do not snatch their feathers just because you are afraid of your child getting hurt; because it is impossible to protect them from disappointment at all stages of life. Ample communication, tons of trust, loads of love are the assets of healthy parenting. The moment children and parent relation turns trustworthy, then it is impossible to break the bond at any cost.

To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, it is very important to be in their lives today. As Learning knows no limit – keep learning and Happy Parenting!!! 
                                                  
                                                                                                  By a Learning Parent,
                                                                                                  Anitha S